I Choose This

 

Today I was on my yoga mat, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there, this seems to be happening more and more these days. If you know me that might sound like I’ve gone crazy….. But isn’t it that way, anytime we are doing something we feel we “should” be doing some of the pleasure is lost?

Today, I decided as I was second guessing my need to be on my mat or doing something different to try something new. As I tried to talk myself into wanting to be there I had a moment of clarity. I’m positive that these come from somewhere else! But what if I said to myself “I Choose This” and every time I felt resistance to a pose I repeated it again. So there I was in a wide legged forward fold and we had already passed through there once on the first side, well, the teacher didn’t give me the same time they did on the first side and I felt irritated as I moved to where she said and then at that moment I said to myself “I chose this” I could’ve done what I was hoping for or I could move forward, honestly, I could leave if I wanted to! I was choosing to be there. I was choosing to move on, I was choosing to be in that room and on my mat. Hell, I was choosing to play this game of “I Choose This” throughout my practice. When I felt half-hearted, I chose that. When I chose to not jump into handstand to be kind to my shoulder, my choice. I found this power of choosing to be where I was, whether I liked it there or not, it was my choice! Now here is the kicker, we are always choosing, we just don’t always know it or acknowledge it.

I decided I really liked this game and wanted to keep playing, what would it do through my day. As I look into the fridge and decide what to eat, I recognize that I can consciously choose what I’m eating. I’m not saying use this as your new way to trick yourself to healthy. If you open it and ice cream screams your name, grab the ice cream, see how you feel if every fiber of your being wants ice cream, say “I Choose This” and enjoy without guilt. The guilt comes later?… then say “I Choose This” you are choosing to feel guilty, is that a choice you are happy with? Can you change your mind? YES, that is the beauty that I found. I could say I choose to not feel guilty any longer. I made a choice and it was mine to eat that delicious and decadent ice cream.

Let’s keep playing… before I started this game this morning someone made an unsafe driving manuever and my thought was, “this guy is trying to kill me”. That’s a pretty big assumption and a harsh judge of his character (we all know I didn’t really feel that strong, but those were my words). But there was a piece of me that took it personal, he didn’t care enough to be cautious, his getting where he was going was more important than mine. Now some of this may be true or it could just be the Hollywood story that I chose to make surrounding what he did that morning. Now insert my new fun game, “I Choose That”. I decided to make that assumption to feel harmed in some way. Could I instead choose to feel forgiving? Maybe he received bad news and is distracted, maybe he is a new driver, maybe this list could be as long as the one that he just wanted to make me mad? Is it possible for me to just choose to acknowledge that it happened, smile and move on? Well, now that is a choice that makes me feel good. Oh wait, so now I can make a choice no matter what is happening around me to feel good??? This just keeps getting better.

I’m going to continue to play throughout my day and maybe this becomes my natural response when I feel something, I’M CHOOSING IT. I’m choosing my words, my thoughts, how I feel is up to me? I can let my current situation deplete me or empower me.

Care to play? Report to me your choices and I’ll share more of mine!

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