Picture this: You are looking out of an airplane window, you can see something super cool; a big cloud, mountains on the ground, something amazing. You want the person next to you see it. You must get out of the way and they have to move to your point of perspective…. Get it..?
Today I was on my yoga mat, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there
Source: I Choose This
Sometimes life really does blindside us, we don’t see something coming and it wasn’t for a lack of paying attention. Sometimes life does that, catches us by surprise. Now that can be a good thing at times… unexpected vistors, connecting with someone you haven’t seen in a long time… but the flipside. You can get hit with a doozy that just shakes the ground and rattles your brain.
We all know these things happen, the question really is what do we do next? My first instinct is to pour myself a glass of wine and sit with my misery and have a party. Or maybe call a friend and complain and keep that fresh pain right there on the surface…
But I’m going to do it different this time.
I’m going to sit in it. I’m going to feel shocked, then sad and we will see what comes next.. but I believe that somewhere along the way it will be acceptance and maybe I will even see the ‘why’.
I want my wine, I want my friends but somethings just need to be dealt with. Numbness isn’t going to make it any different tomorrow, processing it all and getting to the place where peace is at. I teach all day long that one breath, one thought and that quiet, gentle peaceful place is always there. That when the world around us appears to be crumbling (or changing) that place in our hearts remains unchanged. So instead of pouring a glass of wine, I made a salad. Instead of reliving it over and over tonight, I’m sorting my way through it. Making this decision seems to be a challenge tonight… BUT choosing to focus on my own happiness (or if not happy at the moment, than my well-being) is much more important. I cannot change what happens around me, I can only choose how I decide to interpret it, what I can make of it.
I’m choosing to maintain my peace and my power and take a path less traveled. A path that leads me here to sit in shIT for a bit. But I at least know when I’m done sitting I will be better, stronger and ready for life’s next unexpected surprise.
Talking to a friend about an upcoming trip to an amusement park and she happened to mention how she felt that the people there were a bit rough around the edges. We don’t need to talk about what that means because it usually just means people that are not the same as us, and that is descriptive enough.
Well, I arrived at the venue and it was packed full of people of all kinds. And it is possible that I noticed a man in a T-shirt that said, “I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.” Maybe not the most appropriate t-shirt in my opinion, but the opinion in his house differed from mine.
Now, I had a choice. I could continue the theme created in my head by my friend or I could choose to spend my day different than she had. In the words of Pharrell, “The same is lame”, so I decided to play a little game by myself.
“You are Beautiful”
I said these words silently (not to myself, because they were directed at the person in front of me) each and every time I made eye contact with someone. Whether their weight made my approval, their choice of clothing or hair color different than mine, “You are Beautiful”. And as I did this throughout the day I was reminded every beautiful person has parents, siblings or a spouse that see their beauty every day. There are people in their lives that love them unconditionally, as people love me. I found that I could see beauty in the eyes of everyone I saw. Now, you would think that is pretty impressive, how very enlightened of me….. But what I found the most humbling was when I saw a person with what our society has decided means beauty. I tried to keep my thoughts the same, but in the beginning started with, “You ARE beautiful” that made all the prior statements shallow. I had to look past a beautiful shell to see a beautiful interior as well, not stopping at the surface. Beauty is below the surface, it doesn’t matter how it is decorated.
And I can only hope that as their eyes met mine that they saw their beauty reflected back to them.
Today I was on my yoga mat, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there, this seems to be happening more and more these days. If you know me that might sound like I’ve gone crazy….. But isn’t it that way, anytime we are doing something we feel we “should” be doing some of the pleasure is lost?
Today, I decided as I was second guessing my need to be on my mat or doing something different to try something new. As I tried to talk myself into wanting to be there I had a moment of clarity. I’m positive that these come from somewhere else! But what if I said to myself “I Choose This” and every time I felt resistance to a pose I repeated it again. So there I was in a wide legged forward fold and we had already passed through there once on the first side, well, the teacher didn’t give me the same time they did on the first side and I felt irritated as I moved to where she said and then at that moment I said to myself “I chose this” I could’ve done what I was hoping for or I could move forward, honestly, I could leave if I wanted to! I was choosing to be there. I was choosing to move on, I was choosing to be in that room and on my mat. Hell, I was choosing to play this game of “I Choose This” throughout my practice. When I felt half-hearted, I chose that. When I chose to not jump into handstand to be kind to my shoulder, my choice. I found this power of choosing to be where I was, whether I liked it there or not, it was my choice! Now here is the kicker, we are always choosing, we just don’t always know it or acknowledge it.
I decided I really liked this game and wanted to keep playing, what would it do through my day. As I look into the fridge and decide what to eat, I recognize that I can consciously choose what I’m eating. I’m not saying use this as your new way to trick yourself to healthy. If you open it and ice cream screams your name, grab the ice cream, see how you feel if every fiber of your being wants ice cream, say “I Choose This” and enjoy without guilt. The guilt comes later?… then say “I Choose This” you are choosing to feel guilty, is that a choice you are happy with? Can you change your mind? YES, that is the beauty that I found. I could say I choose to not feel guilty any longer. I made a choice and it was mine to eat that delicious and decadent ice cream.
Let’s keep playing… before I started this game this morning someone made an unsafe driving manuever and my thought was, “this guy is trying to kill me”. That’s a pretty big assumption and a harsh judge of his character (we all know I didn’t really feel that strong, but those were my words). But there was a piece of me that took it personal, he didn’t care enough to be cautious, his getting where he was going was more important than mine. Now some of this may be true or it could just be the Hollywood story that I chose to make surrounding what he did that morning. Now insert my new fun game, “I Choose That”. I decided to make that assumption to feel harmed in some way. Could I instead choose to feel forgiving? Maybe he received bad news and is distracted, maybe he is a new driver, maybe this list could be as long as the one that he just wanted to make me mad? Is it possible for me to just choose to acknowledge that it happened, smile and move on? Well, now that is a choice that makes me feel good. Oh wait, so now I can make a choice no matter what is happening around me to feel good??? This just keeps getting better.
I’m going to continue to play throughout my day and maybe this becomes my natural response when I feel something, I’M CHOOSING IT. I’m choosing my words, my thoughts, how I feel is up to me? I can let my current situation deplete me or empower me.
Care to play? Report to me your choices and I’ll share more of mine!
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