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Bras, now Flags

I’m going to first start with a disclaimer, which pisses me off a little anyway,
I, Tanya, am not advocating for flag burning, I’m not calling all the bras into the fire. I’m not even trying to start a fire. All I want to get across is that maybe we should stop taking things so literally and see the reason, the person, see the purpose for actions.
It is time that I don’t need to write a disclaimer before sharing my thoughts because people will quickly make assumptions based off of what words they decide to focus on, on how the words make them feel.
It’s a good time to pause to talk about perspective:
The only way we can see things is from our angle. Let’s keep this real world for an example. If I’m standing on my porch and looking west, the sun is rising in the east, I’m not going to see it. If someone tells me it’s happening I cannot argue that fact. If I enter a room and you are standing on the other side I see a different room than you do. It’s just a fact.
Picture this: You are looking out of an airplane window, you can see something super cool; a big cloud, mountains on the ground, something amazing. You want the person next to you see it. You must get out of the way and they have to move to your point of perspective…. Get it..?
Just as our eyes work this way, SO DO OUR MINDS. We see from where we are, we see from where we’ve been, movies we’ve seen, news we watch, people we associate with. So let’s not assume that people that are watching other news, hanging with other people are just plain wrong because they are not seeing our view. A problem here is when we stay stuck in our same communities, same jobs, same people, we cannot possibly see from another perspective, maybe move into their seat for a minute and really look.
Ok, here goes nothing…
Let’s talk flag burning…
(here is my disclaimer #2, I am not an advocate, I have not burned a flag, I do not desire to burn a flag. I have folded flags and been very careful to not let them touch the ground)
Now with that said…
The flag is a symbol, the physical manifest of that symbol holds power because of the way we view it and the power we put in it’s meaning.
Once upon a time groups of people gathered together to burn bras. They weren’t anti-bra. They did not want to walk around without one and that was not the statement they were trying to make. They were not burning bras so they could ‘let it all hang out’.
The bras were being burned because women no longer wanted to abide by the restrictions they felt as women. They wanted to feel free to work, to express their opinion, to feel strong willed and free. Now, this was before my time and therefore, I cannot even see this from their view, so I am assuming here. But as a women, I know they didn’t really want to give up the bra itself.
Again, I hesitantly return to the flag. Is it possible that those burning the flag do not want to give up their country, they do not want to move and get out. They want a voice they want to feel heard and no longer feel restricted.
The power is put into an object as a symbol is there so we can actively show support, but anything that can be supported can also be opposed, without the opportunity for opposition there really is no power in symbol (mind you I keep saying symbol, not flag) If that same material was printed with any other colors or symbol it would not wiled that kind of power.
One last little note to you, as I earlier said it’s what you read and how you hear it. I purposely manipulated a word in this article…
Here it goes..
Note that I said ‘feel’ not ‘be. We are feeling beings. Let’s let others begin to FEEL heard, seen, and appreciated in our small circles and things will change BIG. If every day you feel like you are invisible, don’t matter, or worse, you want to FEEL seen. This problem that appears so big, could begin to be solved right inside your home, outside your door, at your grocery store. Let’s start this radical change right here in our own space!
Peace! ❤
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Sit in IT

Sometimes life really does blindside us, we don’t see something coming and it wasn’t for a lack of paying attention. Sometimes life does that, catches us by surprise. Now that can be a good thing at times… unexpected vistors, connecting with someone you haven’t seen in a long time… but the flipside. You can get hit with a doozy that just shakes the ground and rattles your brain.

We all know these things happen, the question really is what do we do next? My first instinct is to pour myself a glass of wine and sit with my misery and have a party. Or maybe call a friend and complain and keep that fresh pain right there on the surface…

But I’m going to do it different this time.

I’m going to sit in it. I’m going to feel shocked, then sad and we will see what comes next.. but I believe that somewhere along the way it will be acceptance and maybe I will even see the ‘why’.

I want my wine, I want my friends but somethings just need to be dealt with. Numbness isn’t going to make it any different tomorrow, processing it all and getting to the place where peace is at. I teach all day long that one breath, one thought and that quiet, gentle peaceful place is always there. That when the world around us appears to be crumbling (or changing) that place in our hearts remains unchanged. So instead of pouring a glass of wine, I made a salad. Instead of reliving it over and over tonight, I’m sorting my way through it. Making this decision seems to be a challenge tonight… BUT choosing to focus on my own happiness (or if not happy at the moment, than my well-being) is much more important. I cannot change what happens around me, I can only choose how I decide to interpret it, what I can make of it.

I’m choosing to maintain my peace and my power and take a path less traveled. A path that leads me here to sit in shIT for a bit. But I at least know when I’m done sitting I will be better, stronger and ready for life’s next unexpected surprise.

You are Beautiful

Talking to a friend about an upcoming trip to an amusement park and she happened to mention how she felt that the people there were a bit rough around the edges. We don’t need to talk about what that means because it usually just means people that are not the same as us, and that is descriptive enough.

Well, I arrived at the venue and it was packed full of people of all kinds. And it is possible that I noticed a man in a T-shirt that said, “I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.” Maybe not the most appropriate t-shirt in my opinion, but the opinion in his house differed from mine.

Now, I had a choice. I could continue the theme created in my head by my friend or I could choose to spend my day different than she had. In the words of Pharrell, “The same is lame”, so I decided to play a little game by myself.

“You are Beautiful”

I said these words silently (not to myself, because they were directed at the person in front of me) each and every time I made eye contact with someone. Whether their weight made my approval, their choice of clothing or hair color different than mine, “You are Beautiful”. And as I did this throughout the day I was reminded every beautiful person has parents, siblings or a spouse that see their beauty every day. There are people in their lives that love them unconditionally, as people love me. I found that I could see beauty in the eyes of everyone I saw. Now, you would think that is pretty impressive, how very enlightened of me….. But what I found the most humbling was when I saw a person with what our society has decided means beauty. I tried to keep my thoughts the same, but in the beginning started with, “You ARE beautiful” that made all the prior statements shallow. I had to look past a beautiful shell to see a beautiful interior as well, not stopping at the surface. Beauty is below the surface, it doesn’t matter how it is decorated.

And I can only hope that as their eyes met mine that they saw their beauty reflected back to them.

I Choose This

 

Today I was on my yoga mat, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there, this seems to be happening more and more these days. If you know me that might sound like I’ve gone crazy….. But isn’t it that way, anytime we are doing something we feel we “should” be doing some of the pleasure is lost?

Today, I decided as I was second guessing my need to be on my mat or doing something different to try something new. As I tried to talk myself into wanting to be there I had a moment of clarity. I’m positive that these come from somewhere else! But what if I said to myself “I Choose This” and every time I felt resistance to a pose I repeated it again. So there I was in a wide legged forward fold and we had already passed through there once on the first side, well, the teacher didn’t give me the same time they did on the first side and I felt irritated as I moved to where she said and then at that moment I said to myself “I chose this” I could’ve done what I was hoping for or I could move forward, honestly, I could leave if I wanted to! I was choosing to be there. I was choosing to move on, I was choosing to be in that room and on my mat. Hell, I was choosing to play this game of “I Choose This” throughout my practice. When I felt half-hearted, I chose that. When I chose to not jump into handstand to be kind to my shoulder, my choice. I found this power of choosing to be where I was, whether I liked it there or not, it was my choice! Now here is the kicker, we are always choosing, we just don’t always know it or acknowledge it.

I decided I really liked this game and wanted to keep playing, what would it do through my day. As I look into the fridge and decide what to eat, I recognize that I can consciously choose what I’m eating. I’m not saying use this as your new way to trick yourself to healthy. If you open it and ice cream screams your name, grab the ice cream, see how you feel if every fiber of your being wants ice cream, say “I Choose This” and enjoy without guilt. The guilt comes later?… then say “I Choose This” you are choosing to feel guilty, is that a choice you are happy with? Can you change your mind? YES, that is the beauty that I found. I could say I choose to not feel guilty any longer. I made a choice and it was mine to eat that delicious and decadent ice cream.

Let’s keep playing… before I started this game this morning someone made an unsafe driving manuever and my thought was, “this guy is trying to kill me”. That’s a pretty big assumption and a harsh judge of his character (we all know I didn’t really feel that strong, but those were my words). But there was a piece of me that took it personal, he didn’t care enough to be cautious, his getting where he was going was more important than mine. Now some of this may be true or it could just be the Hollywood story that I chose to make surrounding what he did that morning. Now insert my new fun game, “I Choose That”. I decided to make that assumption to feel harmed in some way. Could I instead choose to feel forgiving? Maybe he received bad news and is distracted, maybe he is a new driver, maybe this list could be as long as the one that he just wanted to make me mad? Is it possible for me to just choose to acknowledge that it happened, smile and move on? Well, now that is a choice that makes me feel good. Oh wait, so now I can make a choice no matter what is happening around me to feel good??? This just keeps getting better.

I’m going to continue to play throughout my day and maybe this becomes my natural response when I feel something, I’M CHOOSING IT. I’m choosing my words, my thoughts, how I feel is up to me? I can let my current situation deplete me or empower me.

Care to play? Report to me your choices and I’ll share more of mine!